I'm Not Perfect
by BigTimeRush-BTR
Summary: James was always seen as the definition of perfection. Everyone saw him as perfect. Everyone except himself. In his eyes, he needed to work hard to earn that title. Too bad he didn't know that sometimes people hurt themselves by trying to be what society shoves down their throats.
1. Prologue

**Hey. :) You all might want to throw gummy bears at me for starting YET ANOTHER story. D: Please don't kill me! Lol. All I can say is that this story kind of resembles _Falling Angel_ and _Cover Boy Undercover_, though, it'll be a lot more different, and will probably drag on even longer. It also resembles Rainwillow7899's new story (WHICH YOU ALL SHOULD GO READ), though I promise mine will be different from hers. :) Hope you all like it. And if it's too close to the one Rainwillow7899 is writing, please let me know so I can take mine down. Okay? Okay. :)**

**JAMES ANGST AHEAD! This story will contain plenty of bromance for everyone... and plenty of angst for the other boys as well; not just James.**

**This story is Rated T for a reason, just so you know. Enjoy. :)**

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Perfection.

To his friends and the people around him, James was the definition of perfection. With his soft and silky, chestnut-colored locks of hair, hazel and bright eyes, and charming smile, he was always seen as flawless. Never was he seen with a strand of hair sticking up in an odd direction; his hair always being combed to perfection. His down to earth personality and Diamond charm did nothing to help his situation. The girls fell head over heels for him; the boys envied him. While that was a gift, it could also be seen as a curse. Because James Diamond was seen as perfect to anybody around him, except himself.

As a child and teenager, James had always had the dream of becoming famous, whether it was as a pop star, actor, or model. He loved it when he was the center of attention. Somehow, having people clapping for him and cheering him on always gave him a boost of confidence. He loved the attention. He dreamed of one day performing for thousands of people. Singing was his passion, and he hoped that one day, singing could become his job.

It was until he was sixteen years old that the opportunity became presented to him. As his eyes focused on the television in front of him, a smile turned his lips upward. This was it! He could finally have the career he had always wanted. He could finally become famous. All he had to do was get to Gustavo Rocque's audition on time and make sure that the producer liked him.

To him, the task was easier than counting from one to three.

But as Kelly Wainwright –Gustavo's assistant– handed out little sticky slips of paper with numbers to see which of the four best friends would go first, and in what order they would go in, James became nervous. Suddenly, the idea of performing for the famous producer wasn't so tempting.

In a rush, James removed his sticky paper with the number 810 on it and stuck it onto Logan's shirt, at the same time taking the sticky paper with the number 811 and sticking it onto his vest. He had nervously smiled at his shorter best friend and told him to go ahead before him. Of course, Logan having no interest in the matter, had claimed that he couldn't sing. But thanks to Kendall's quick way of thinking, the second smallest of the four had gone up and beat boxed for Gustavo. Unfortunately, the only response he got from the grumpy man was to be yelled at in his face. To say he was traumatized would have been an easy way of putting how he was feeling into words.

Then number 811 was next, and James was forced to trade sticky papers with Carlos so that he wouldn't go next. Logan's claim of Gustavo being Satan with bug-eyed sunglasses had really freaked him out, and frankly, he was now terrified out of his mind.

When Carlos came back, he had a rather pleased smile on his face, as he told his best friends that he wasn't going to Hollywood. James didn't even want to know what his smaller friend had done. With Carlos being Carlos, he could only guess that the boy had done something very stupid that most likely got him humiliated.

For the third time that day, James reached to trade sticky papers with Kendall. The shorter boy, however, had other plans. Unlike his two other friends, Kendall was bull-headed and stubborn. He may not have been as smart as Logan, but he was definitely wise beyond his years. That was something James had always admired about him.

"James, this is your dream, not mine. Now, remember, opportunities like these come once in a lifetime. Now, grab on to that dream with both hands and go BIG TIME!" Kendall, always trying to encourage his best friends had said those exact words to James, right before pushing him towards the doors of the auditorium in which they were to audition. Still nervous and a bit scared –though he had to admit, Kendall's words had given him an unknown courage– the brunette had walked forward and positioned himself in front of the so-called-Satan, not knowing what was to come his way.

"I don't need good. I need the fire. I need someone to knock me out of my seat, and as you can tell, I'm still in it. Because you have NO TALENT!"

Gustavo's words had stung, much like a knife to the heart. So apparently he was good, but not good enough to have the fire Gustavo was looking for. He might have had talent and a pretty face, but that was not enough to win the producer over. He wasn't good enough. The pain hit him full-force. His insecurities brought him crashing down, until he saw Kendall stand up from his seat and confront the angry producer.

James watched in surprise as Kendall shouted in Gustavo's face, then jumping onto the table in front of him and his assistant, only to resume his angry rampage. He was mad; James could tell. By the way he started singing his _Giant Turd Song_ and insulting the man in front of him, James knew Kendall was not a happy camper at the moment.

The brunette watched with worried eyes as Carlos jumped out of his seat in order to remove the security guards that had now surrounded his best friend. Without a second thought, James joined in on the fight. Logan and Mrs. Majikowski were soon joined in on the fight. It wasn't long before the cops were called and the boys were escorted back to Kendall's house, where Kendall's mother opened the door with an amused look on her face.

So James had not been good enough for Gustavo? James could live with that. Sure, he was sad and a bit mad, but it wasn't something his friends could not fix with a night of games and being their goofy selves. Another opportunity would most likely appear to him in the near future. He wasn't concerned about that.

But then Gustavo returned. He thought he had come back for him, but that wasn't the case. Gustavo wanted Kendall. Kendall was the fire Gustavo had been searching for. He had finally found his new star after touring 22 cities and auditioning 20,000 teenagers, and it wasn't James. While it hurt to know that his best friend would live the dream James had always wanted, he felt oddly satisfied and proud –not for himself but for Kendall. He wanted Kendall to take this opportunity into his own hands and do something positive with it. Kendall was passion-driven; surely, he would do what was right. But then, why had he rejected Gustavo's offer?

James felt like slamming his head into a wall after Kendall declined to go with Gustavo to Los Angeles in order to become a popular singer. _Was this it? Was Kendall going to give up that easily?_

For the rest of that night and part of the next day, James felt like he hated Kendall. While his head wanted to hate Kendall, he knew that deep inside his heart, he still loved the blond like a brother. But there was no denying that he was upset over his decision.

It was the next day, when the boys were visiting Kendall at Sherwood –which was the supermarket he worked in– that they finally managed to convince Kendall to go with Gustavo. The youngest of the four had other plans in mind, though, for when Gustavo went to talk to him, he suggested that he had to take all four of them with him. He made it very clear that he would not be going to LA by himself, unless his best friends were by his side. The suggestion was a kind and selfless one; James found himself smiling after the green-eyed boy had suggested it to Gustavo. And when Gustavo finally said "yes", James wanted to cry with happiness. And he would be lying if he said that he didn't run back home to cry into his pillow due to the joy that was running through his body.

It took both James and Kendall a lot of convincing in order to get Mrs. Diamond to let James go to Hollywood, but she eventually gave in. Within a period of 24 hours, the boys were in a plane on their way to sunny Los Angeles.

James thought that moving to LA with his best friends would be the best thing for him. But it seemed like faith had other plans. With everything going on around him, and James receiving constant pressure from Gustavo and hateful words, James felt his self-confidence slowly decrease, until he felt pretty much worthless and drained out of energy.

James was referred to as "the pretty boy" pretty much wherever he went. Gustavo had told him multiple times that he had to create an image for himself, and not ruin it. He had to keep being pretty. Had to keep winning the girls over. He had to keep being the best he could be.

James had to be perfect.

Not one little flaw could be seen on him. He had to be the best of the best; the prettiest boy in town.

James hadn't thought much of it back then, but after some time passed by, he came to a conclusion. Maybe if he acted perfect and was perfect, Gustavo would finally accept him for who he was. Maybe he could finally be who he was without being judged.

James smiled as he looked at his reflection on the mirror that stood in the bathroom of Rocque Records. He might have not been perfect then, but he would be… in a matter of time. Time was all he needed. Time to create the perfect image of himself.

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**I think this is long for a prologue. Haha. xD But oh well! This is the prologue. Let me know if you like it. And again, go read Rainwillow7899's story. It's REALLY good!**

**Love you all! Thanks for reading. :D**

**~ BigTimeRush-BTR :)**


	2. Chapter 1

**Hello guys! You can all thank AkireAlev for this update, because she has been nagging me non-stop to update this story! Lol. Well, first chapter is finally here. It's not that long, but oh well! Hope you all like it. And enjoy the Kames bromance and cuteness. :D**

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"James! Jamie, wake up! Come on, James, we don't have a lot of time to get ready!"

An annoyed sigh left James' lips the moment his eyes cracked open. Through the fogginess of his mind, he could make out the figure of Kendall's face hovering just mere inches above his own. He emitted a not-so-manly squeak from somewhere down his throat at the sight, because he really wasn't expecting to be greeted by that the moment he gained back his consciousness from a dream-filled sleep. Then again, who would? But this was Kendall, and Kendall could pretty much invade his personal space without really meaning to. The blond was just a naturally friendly and clingy person, who tended to do that with pretty much everybody.

"Get ready for what?" James asked, right hand moving to rub the sleep from his eyes.

"Time to get ready, so we don't arrive late at Rocque Records, and Gustavo doesn't kill us for the billionth time this week!" Kendall explained in a high-pitched voice. James couldn't help rolling his eyes at his best friend.

"Relax, dude." James pushed gently on Kendall's chest, forcing the smaller boy to stumble to his feet. "Get yourself ready. I'll be out in a bit."

"Okay," Kendall said in response. "Just don't take too long, because we roughly have over twenty minutes, then we have to catch the limo."

"Will do, mother!" James said jokingly as he watched Kendall back out of the room.

Suppressing a yawn, the brunette rose on both feet, kicking his wrinkly blankets to the side, and went to gather his clothes from his closet. Staring at every piece of clothing he owned, for a little past a couple of seconds, James decided on a blue t-shirt lying at the bottom of the closet and on a pair of sweatpants. He gathered them into his hands and walked into the bathroom connected to the bedroom he shared with Carlos.

Trying to be as quick as possible, James changed into his studio clothes and got himself ready for the day that was awaiting him. He looked into the mirror as he combed his brown locks of hair, tired eyes staring back at him through the glass. He was tired out of his mind, but there was not much he could do about it. He had to suck it up if he wanted to keep his job, which was to him the best job in the world.

Stumbling over his own feet, James ran out of the bathroom. He had thirteen minutes left according to the digital clock on his nightstand. Quickly, he slipped on his shoes and ran all the way to the kitchen. To his surprise, everybody was up and about. Kendall, Logan, and Carlos were sitting on the bar stools in the kitchen, impatiently watching Mrs. Knight, who was standing near the stove, preparing what appeared to be eggs and bacon, judging by the smell.

"Morning guys," James said with a smile as he sat down beside a drooling Carlos and Logan.

"Morning," Logan and Kendall said simultaneously, Carlos apparently being too busy dreaming about the food that would soon be sitting in front of him, to even mumble a reply.

"Did Gustavo say what we were going to be working on today?" the brunette asked curiously, eyes shifting between Kendall and Logan.

"Yeah," Kendall answered, "he said we would be recording that new song he was writing last week. Said something about it being done, and Griffin wanting a new single out soon. And by the way he said it, I'm guessing he wants it by some time this week. I mean, you know how Griffin can be. Once he sets his mind on a date, there's no changing his mind whatsoever."

"True," James and Logan said at once.

And it was true. Griffin expected a lot out of them, and since they never gave him a reason not to, his expectations on the four boys had only increased as the time flew by. They had now been living in LA for a little over a year, meaning that his expectations were a lot higher than when they had first been signed to work with Gustavo on some demos.

"Boys, breakfast is ready!" Mrs. Knight shouted happily, knocking the boys from their previous conversation. All four boys grinned happily, Carlos jumping up with a cry of joy. The surrogate mother of five smiled at the joyful gesture, being used to it after knowing James and Carlos for eleven years now, and Logan for nine.

"Here you go, guys," she said as she started to pass around a plate for each boy. Soon enough, the four boys were digging into their meal, kind of like starving animals. Mrs. Knight watched them, shaking her head at the eating boys. "You're all going to end up chocking on that food if you eat any faster," she sad warningly. However, the boys paid no attention to her. "Boys!"

"Sorry mom," Kendall apologized between a mouthful of food. "We don't have much time left. Gustavo is gonna murder us if we're late again." With that being said, the blond got up from his seat and placed his empty plate on the sink. The rest of the boys followed suit right after him.

"Bye mom." With a smile on his face, Kendall leaned forward and gave his mother a kiss on the cheek. By then James, Carlos, and Logan had already exited the apartment. With one final wave, Kendall walked out of the apartment in search of his best friends. To his surprise, James was standing outside of the apartment with a goofy smile adorning his tan face.

"Hurry up, squirt," James said jokingly, wrapping an arm around Kendall's shoulders and giving him a sideways hug. With a laugh, he wrapped the same arm around Kendall's neck and gave him a nuggie.

"Don't call me squirt!" Kendall yelped as he pulled away from the giggling brunette. James only laughed even harder at the playful glare the younger boy sent in his direction.

"I'll call you whatever I want to call you," James retorted. He grinned evilly at the pouting blond and stretched out his arms in front of him, fingers wiggling freely in the air. As soon as Kendall noticed this, he bolted towards the stairs, knowing they were much faster than the elevators. Behind him, he could hear James laughing away. He just hoped he could reach the limousine or Carlos and Logan before James could reach him.

"Guys, h-help!" the blond yelled out desperately as he ran out of the Palm Woods lobby and through the pool area. Several curious eyes turned to the boy with confused eyes while he ran past, but no one made a move to help him, so he kept running until he reached the black limousine waiting outside for him. To his relief, one of the doors was cracked open, giving him the chance to jump inside, only to land on an unexpected Logan and Carlos.

"Got you!"

Kendall let out a squeak when a hand wrapped around his ankle. He heard the door of the limousine close, followed by the sound of the engine coming to life. It wasn't long before he was a giggling and squirming mess in Logan's and Carlos' laps, while James' fingers busied themselves ticking the blond boy's sides.

"No… James, p-p-please! I c-can't breathe!" Kendall cried out, eyes watering up with tears from laughing so much. Soon enough, Logan and Carlos had joined in on the tickling fight; Carlos tickling Kendall as well, while Logan decided to help the gasping boy by tickling James.

By the time the limousine halted in front of Rocque Records, all four boys were on the floor, all on top of one another with Kendall on the bottom and James on the very top. Carlos was on top of Logan, who was on top of Kendall.

"Guys, I would greatly appreciate it if you all GOT UP FROM ON TOP OF ME!"

Chuckling, James reached for the limo's door handle, succeeding in opening the door. But as soon as the door was wide open, he fell out, followed by Carlos and Logan. Kendall crawled out of the limo with a grin on his face.

"Losers!" he shouted over his shoulder as he ran inside Rocque Records. The other boys followed after him, dreading the exhausting hours that were to come their way.

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**Nothing bad has happened… yet. But will it stay like that? NO. Hehehe. Loved the feedback from the last chapter! Let me know what you all thought. :3**

**~ BigTimeRush-BTR :)**


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